On episode 65 Lin and I responded to a listener email question. The question was asked, what do you do when you know Friend A has slept with Friend B’s husband?
We were both like WHOA!!! That’s deep. Of course I wanted more information, because that situation could have many layers. Lin thought about it and decided based on what we knew she would likely not get involved. For me, one word caught my attention, FRIEND. I decided to take a look at the definition of friend before I wrote this piece. Here you go. Friend (Def.) A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations. Once I had a clear understanding of the meaning, answering the question was a no brainer.
When you have a friend, a person or a bestie, nothing is more important than that relationship. All loyalty goes to that relationship regardless of how good or bad a situation may be. I shared an experience that happened to me on the show. I was definitely Monie in the middle. I had two “friends”. I was close to both of them. I mean my affection for both of them was literally the same. I found out that one friend was having an affair with the other friend’s partner. That threw me for a loop. As each day passed I knew in my heart of hearts I could not sit on that information and do nothing about it. I mulled over what to do and finally made a decision. I had to get involved. I knew the potential consequences, lose one friend or possibly both. I confronted Friend B and told her I was uncomfortable knowing about the relationship. I told her I would give her and the partner the opportunity to tell Friend A. I gave them a week. Needless to say, the affair continued, they did not tell Friend A, so I told. Yeah, I jumped straight in the middle of the mess.
Fast forward many years later. Everybody involved has moved on with their lives. Friend A and the partner broke up, Friend B and the partner did not end up together, but most importantly Friend A told me that telling her was the right thing to do. She told me if I had not told her and she found out later that I knew about the affair, our relationship would have never been the same.
I guess the moral of my story is you can never go wrong when you make the decision to do the right thing, by a FRIEND.
Check out the full conversation below: