How you gonna win when you ain’t right within?

Love yourself. Affirm yourself. Be healthy for yourself. Whatever you do, do it for you and you only. Don’t make up a story about a new habit or hobby being good for yourself when it is inspired outside of you. Doing so will create resentment.

I am thankful for being the baby of my family and family friends. Because of this, I was able to learn a lot early on, taking advantage of their circumstances by seeing a lesson to be learned for myself. Selfish? Maybe, but by doing so, I’ve been able to navigate my life different. I was 15 years old when I realized you can’t make someone else happy and someone else can’t make you happy. You are responsible for your own happiness; no one else.

At the time of this lesson, I would have been 1 year younger than a family friend who was fighting with her boyfriend and this situation ultimately led to their breakup. He was an athlete (fairly decent one at that, went on to play at the collegiate D1 level) who took exceptional care of his body. She was a dancer (same as above, went on to compete and perform at the collegiate D1 level) who struggled with her physique our entire lives. She sought his guidance on nutrition and he provided it, then she used it against him.

Outside looking in, although she sought his help, I believe she was doing so for him. Her body was NEVER not where it needed to be (during this time), she was just hypersensitive toward it due to childhood trauma around her weight. To a fault, she still never thought it (her body) was good enough (for him) and engaged his mentorship around nutrition and fitness but ultimately didn’t accept the way he presented his insights.

Without even being aware, she was wanting something for her life that she thought would satisfy someone else. Being aware of this does not come easily and typically disguises itself as our own desires. While getting healthy might be a desire for ourselves, err with caution regarding the inventiveness around getting healthy.

When a new habit or hobby exists with the intention to fulfil someone else, appear more attractive, or to have someone be more interested in you, your (own) emotions toward said activity stop ( for you) and become attached to the other person. That’s a tough act to balance; in my experience, ends up falling off the beam. Then come blame and resentment, ready to fire!

Do what you need to do for yourself: Feed the wolf you want to win. The rest will come.


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