Too much of a good thing is still too much.
Last weeks article got my juices flowing, when I referenced balance, I knew I needed to dive a bit deeper and devote at least one (could probably write an entire book on this topic) article on this subject. In a world where opposition and extremes are so prevalent, finding the middle ground is crucial on a journey of vitality.
I would like to take a moment to preface I am not an expert, nor have I been taking action with balance at the forefront of my mind for an extended period of time. I’ve only recently added balance to my conscious intention. Through my writing, I am merely sharing my experiences how balance has occurred in my life with attempts to relate to others.
That said, I believe a visual is necessary so I’m not referencing “this” or “that” side. Please excuse my hand writing – left side relates to low frequency, the right represents high frequency, and middle ground is displayed as being in between the two. Below the scale I threw together a chart of contrasting adjectives to help paint the picture; I’ve separated these words into negative and positive for lack of better notion. This (incomplete) listing came from David R. Hawkins book, “Power vs Force” [pg. 168-169] and is included here as a contextual addition, not necessarily to be the topic of discussion.
|Low frequency adjectives (negative/unhealthy)||High frequency adjectives (positive/healthy)|
Okay let us dive in!
For the longest time, I operated extremely; I was very much aware when I would be slipping from the high frequency side. After admitting my slip up, I would trick myself into believing it was okay, that I needed to go all the way to the other side and once I got to the end of the low frequency side I would get so mad that I’d flip and begin back to attaining the high frequency. LOL Sounds ridiculous when I write it out like that.
In pursuit of relatability, think of the good ‘ol “I’ll start my diet on Monday” syndrome. I’m sure we can all bring relevance of this statement into our lives as it relates to oneself. What is really being said is, “let me indulge in this unhealthy activity a while longer and when I’m ready I’ll engage the high frequency habits for a bit”. The problem being, Monday never comes, or it does and it hits you hard! Still lacking balance.
My senior year of college provided a learning experience for me re: balance. The combination of having pneumonia and my mother going through triple bypass surgery, I was determined to get healthy! I did so in an unsustainable and extremist manner. I was exercising 2x daily, ate tremendously clean, didn’t consume alcohol, etc. If I ingested something that wasn’t in my diet, my body would reject it therefore I didn’t participate in social activities like going out to dinner with friends. I hardly socialized and socialization is something that adds value to my life (more below). I might have attained good health but other areas of my life were affected by this outcome. The lifestyle change didn’t occur in a balance-focused manner.
It was during this time of my life when I can distinctly remember an “ah-ha!” moment: Here’s what I told myself, “one salad isn’t going to make you healthy just as missing one workout isn’t going to make you unfit”. This thought came to me in the midst of a high intensity workout I was doing while my friends were all out at the pool enjoying OUR SENIOIR YEAR OF COLLEGE. Needless to say, I stopped my workout and went to enjoy moments with my friends.
Being in constant inquisition of what is important (to me in my life) is how I begin the balancing act. I ask myself, “does this add value?” If the answer is yes, then I ask “what is a reasonable rate this can exist in your life?” and from here I’ll create a schedule to ensure I include said value-added “thing” in my life without over or under doing it. If value is not added, then there is no need to invest in this activity/relationship/habit/product and balance need not be.
A tangible example – I am studying for a professional certification. Young Meaghan would have cut everything that didn’t appear to be important (social life) out and done this: take care of dog, go to work, eat food, study, repeat. Current Meaghan is committed to studying 8 hours a week, 2 hours over 4 days, 4 hours over 2, 1 over 6 and 2 over 1, doesn’t matter. My social and physical activities are uninterrupted at this pace. The commitment to the 8 hours varies each week, but it set at the beginning of each week with at least 2 social activities set for the week as well.
Since energies exist in the manner of polarity, choosing where the middle ground lay (for you) is empowering as we trek through this journey.
Value + reasonable rate + schedule of reasonable rate + accountability/commitment = balance.