DATING IN 2020: A SERIES FROM DEFYLIFE

Navigating the landscape of the dating scene is often tricky and intimidating. We are going to take on this world, tell some real life stories, tips and hints, and hopefully provide some good and entertaining insights into the world of dating in 2020.

Here’s to hoping that everyone had a great and productive week. Welcome back to the series. Shameless Plug alert from Defylife’s own – the Relationship Status Podcast as they have a dope Valentine’s week episode!  Check it out.

Relationship Status Podcast

So, we are 5 weeks in!  If you are a first time reader, go back and check out what you’ve missed! Once more..if you have been reading since week 1….go back and read again.

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

Folks, WE’VE  been doing WORK! We have put in the self evaluation time.  We have focused on what we attract and our own energy.  We have made a connection…we’ve been on the phone doing alot of caking, lol. And now it’s time for that first date.  WE are finally here.

So you may ask, how much actual time has passed between these connecting conversations and this…interaction, this..date? If your conversations, text messages, etc have been consistent, I would recommend no more than 3 – 5 days if you can help it.  You can tweak this if needed, based on circumstance and your knowledge of this person, but dont wait too long.  Talking on the phone will only take you so far.

Now that we are here.  I’m split, there is something that I want to talk about, before we get into the logistics of a first date.  I think this is AS important as the date itself, so we are going to get into it.  What should be your objective of this first date!?! Well..I’ll tell you, let’s get to the tips!

1. First and foremost, and I would consider most importantly, you both want to try to ensure that you both have a good time and enjoy one another’s company.  If you nail this, most likely you will see each other again.

2. Ensure that your “in person” vibe is a one to one match of your “phone vibe”. Your Characteristics and character traits need to be genuine.  And communication built on consistency will make both parties feel right at home.  Is the conversation as seamless as it was over the phone?  Eye contact, engaging one another.

3. Confirm if there is a chemistry between the two of you.  Does conversation and behavior indicate a mutual attraction once you two are sharing the same space? And I dont just mean physical. Is the conversation interesting and stimulating? Try to get somewhat of a gauge on these things naturally.

4. Get a sense of how this person treats others and their general behavior while not engaging to you.  Are they polite and courteous? Do they say thank you? How do they treat the people attending you with kindness? If they are rude or off-putting, or find a reason to be mean to the server, etc…but being nice to you, chances are…the being nice to you is an act.

5. Establish a level of comfort.  Ladies, for you that just means paying attention. For men, it means putting in the effort to make her feel safe. Did you choose a good location for the date? Are you paying attention to her level of comfort with your physical proximity to her space?  A woman will let you know her level of comfort, just pay attention.

So, as you can see.  There are a ton of things that you need to keep in mind, as your goal for a first date, and I didnt want to skip it.  I’m sure there are many more that we can jump into.  Dont ignore this step, to get to a 2nd date.  You’ve got to get past the first.

Join us next week, as we will jump into, THE FIRST DATE!

 

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