On episode 61 Lin and I dive in head first for the Main Topic. 

On episode 60 we discussed healthy Habits to having a long lasting relationship.  After the show we realized that we were trying to help others but we hadn’t helped ourselves.  We decided that we needed to share our truths, and by doing so maybe we could help someone in a relationship struggle.

I started therapy with my partner six years ago.  There were lots of factors that contributed to us deciding to seek help. The death of her mother, two very demanding careers, not understanding each other’s love language just to name a few. We loved each other, but it was clear we didn’t know how to love each other and we were definitely unhealthy.  Our behaviors and attitudes towards one another were harmful and detrimental. Have you ever looked at someone, and their mere presence made you feel angry and disgusted? That’s where we were.

The arguing, the fighting over little things just became too much.  Then came the good part. THE BLAME GAME. The more we blamed, the unhealthier we became.  

I had to step back and take the emotions out.  Once I did that I was able to think clearer. That’s when I asked the question? Is love enough to stay in this? Part of me wanted to stay on Hope Road and the other half wanted to take the nearest detour (hope you like the analogy).  There was something that brought us together, there was a reason we fell in love, so I wanted to know where was that energy and vibration. How does it just disappear? 

My partner and I decided that we would take an “exclusive break”.  We were not good together, but we also knew that we were not good for anyone else.  The exclusive break meant we would be responsible for ourselves, “fixing” our own shit. Me not being responsible for her and she not being responsible for me. However, this also meant no emotional or romantic involvement with no one else.  Once that was clear, both of our journeys began. We took different paths and it was hard sometimes, but we both put in the work.  

Fast forward six years later (2020). We are still a work in progress, but for sure we are HEALTHY.  We have learned how to respect each other ALL the time. We have learned to communicate with honesty and tenderness.  We have learned to respect and accept each other’s love language. I guess you can say I let go and held on at the same time!!!

Check out the full conversation below: