Dating in 2020 – A series from Defylife

Navigating the landscape of the dating scene is often tricky and intimidating. We are going to take on this world, tell some real life stories, tips and hints, and hopefully provide some good and entertaining insights into the world of dating in 2020.

Welcome back, I hope everyone had a great week!  Last week in the series, we focused alot of our attention inward.  We focused on you.  If you havent read, go back and catch up here.  If you have read, go back….and read it again.

This week, after talking about making sure you are a balanced and healthy person for dating, I think we should talk some about “what you attract”.  You may say, well that’s lame and unimportant.  But is it?  With all the energy that we put into dating and trying to find a nice balance of qualities and characteristics, to not even take a second to ask ourselves, “what do I attract” may be to important of a step to skip.

What IS attraction?  Oxford Dictionary defines it as being – “the action or power of evoking interest, pleasure, or liking for someone or something”

Now, I’m no expert in the rules and laws of attraction, but I can just use a small sliver of my life to BEGIN to understand how it works. For 2 years, right after college, I worked in a call center. My circles, and people that were immediately available to me, also worked in a call center.  So the women that I was dating or hanging out with at the time, were call center women.  I think I just coined a new phrase, call center chicks/dudes, lol.  These days I’m a corporate professional, and find myself constantly being in the orbit of highly educated, executive, and powerful women.  So my circles have changed..and my availability has expanded from one circle to another.  This isnt just true for dating, it’s TRUE in life.  Upgrade your circle and find doors of opportunity that you previously didn’t have access to.

So, what is the basic principle of what you attract. According to Author and Dr Margaret Paul “The law of attraction states that “like attracts like.” This means that people with a low frequency — people who are insecure and self-abandoning — attract each other, while people with a high frequency — people who love and value themselves — also attract each other. People who are positive, open, secure, giving, caring and kind to themselves and others are not attracted to people who are closed, negative and needy of approval and attention.”

So how do we make sure we are attracting what we want? Let’s get to the tips.

1. Expand your circle – Be creative, join groups that interest you, play in a sports league. Experience things with persons that arent in your immediate circle.  That’s how you begin to expand it.

2. Break out of the category of “Types”. – Since we are going to attract persons based on our energy, interest, and expanding circles, it’s very likely that we will attract someone that is worth your interest.  Examine this, and you’ll find that you dont even have a “type”.

3. What are you putting out there? – Focus on the energy and vibes you are putting out there. Are you open and friendly, standoffish,? People can feel that, it will effect how one approachs you, if they even approach you at all.

4. The power of affirmations – Claim it! And Speak it! The universe will yield to you.  You just have to go get it.

5. Making the connection – See people.  See who they are.  Improve your ability to actually just be genuinely interested in people.  You ever told someone, “I’m not interested” when you dont even know if they are interesting? Well, that’s dumb…find out!

So what have we learned? That YOU..and YOUR energy are the starting points to everything.  Not just dating, but life and being happy in general.  Constantly examine and sharpen that.  Check your energy.  See what you may be attracting.  Until next time folks!


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