This week on Episode 57 Lin and I discussed the very emphatic opinion of Dr. Mrs. Charlotte Oduro that your Ex Lover Should Never Be Your Friend After A Break Up, It Ruins Relationships.
Based on the information in the article, Dr. Oduro is a renowned marriage and relationship counselor. According to the article, Dr, Oduro believes the more a person communicates with an ex, the more that person remembers the things they did before. Another belief Dr. Oduro shared and I found very interesting was that ladies specifically should desist from creating friendships with ex-lovers. My question is “Why women specifically? I would love to have that question answered. Who knows maybe we will be able to get Dr. Oduro on the show?
Even with the credentials and accolades, Lin and I both disagreed with her opinions on ex-lovers. My first problem was with the word “never”. Never leaves no room for exceptions. It adds a finality that can not be undone. Like I stated on the podcast, I am friends with a few of my ex-lovers. I’m talking about relationships that lasted, they were not fly-by-night. I think circumstances play a major part in whether or not a person and their ex can be friends. Secondly, I think the level of maturity of each person plays a major factor in being friends or not. In my personal experiences, I had to realize that I was not ready to be in committed, long-term relationships. I was too young to be in something so serious. After those relationships ended, most not on good terms — and after years of counseling — I made it a mission to make up for my wrongdoing by attempting to cultivate new friendships. Some efforts were successful and others not so much. I and some of my exes talk, text and even in some instances hangout, and by no means is my current relationship ruined. The keys to my current relationship not being negatively impacted by my ex-lovers and our relationships are honesty, transparency and trust.
One of our listeners commented that she does not agree with Dr. Oduro either. She stated “I don’t agree with the ex and friendship. I’m friends with most of my exes. Not hanging out all the time but we were friends first with me.” N. Johnson 01/21/20
I guess the moral of my story is, Never Say Never.