NFL Update, Recap and Perspectives, Sunday, 12-1-19:

NFL Update:

Beautiful day in the Burgh for a beat down of the Browns …

— Pittsburgh’s crazy hodge-podge of a season takes a turn for the better, as Devlin Hodges leads the Steelers back with an impressive second quarter rally that sinks the Browns. Cleveland seems to be carrying its physical pass defense a bit too far, resulting in costly pass interference penalties and credit the the Burgh’s receivers for going up and getting those passes when they had to. Also helpful has been Benny’s Snelling salts, which have perked up the running game, and of course a big shout out goes to the very stout defense. #Steelers #Browns
— Flu-ridden Patsies looked pretty incapable of mixing it up with Watson, who did his best impression of LJ, and Brady was harassed and pressured into another sub-par performance. Let’s face it, the defending champs aren’t scaring anybody with their lack of speed at WR and a rather tepid (if not insignificant) collection of completely forgettable running backs. And with no Gronk on the horizon, it doesn’t look like Bill will be pulling an Easter Bunny out of his hoodie anytime soon. #Patriots #Texans
— Big foot Brandon boots the Broncos into a last place tie with the short circuiting Chargers, who forgot their is nothing to fear when little Lock drew up a last second, no chance in hell Hail Mary. This should be enough to get the fans in Denver off Fangio’s back … at least temporarily. #Chargers #Broncos
— Raider ball reared its ugly head today at Arrowhead, and Coach Gruden was rendered a helpless witness at a very slow motion car crash. Carr was guilty of gross negligence as the engineer of this horrific Sunday drive, with some awful turnovers and misfires, but the icing on the cake was a slew of totally ridiculous penalties. Yes, the Oakland we have fondly come to know and love (not to mention laugh at) was there in all its pathetic glory. The season’s over for the Silver and Black. #Raiders #Chiefs
— In what could well be a preview of the upcoming Super Bowl, Baltimore was a bit more effective on offense, and relies on its two best players to nullify the almost as nifty Niners. Action Jackson came through when he had to, once again, with a game winning, time consuming drive, and Tucker tucked a long kick between the uprights to win the fight once and for all. #FortyNiners #Ravens
— Well rested Arizona bird brains flew South for a couple weeks, then return inexplicably apathetic (apparently being out of contention for everything will do that to you … but where is the professional pride). Goff and the rest of the Rams seize the opportunity to get back on their hobby horses and shrug off two-weeks of veritable misery. #Rams #Cardinals
— An early Xmas celebration at Miami Gardens for the home team, what with Santa Fitzpatrick throwing TDs to a lord-a-leaping Parker and kicker Sanders making everyone forget about that uncoordinated midget named Garo. #Eagles #Dolphins
— Leave it to the junky Jets, who snatch misery from the jaws of momentum with a very disappointing lay down to Cincy. Kudos to Andy Dalton, who comes back to the lineup with a temporary vengeance. #Jets #Bengals
— Packers get well in the Meadowlands when snowball throwing Rodgers more than keeps up with the Giants Jones. #Packers #Giants
— Bucs enjoy the loot and pillage at Jaguar village, after the goodies are practically gift-wrapped by now out-of-favor Foles; better not to stick with Nick for the time being, as witnessed by today’s bonanza of Jaguar backfires. #Buccaneers #Jaguars
— Redskins find things pretty sweet with a two-headed rushing monster, featuring the once great AP, along with newcomer “the Guice”, and the wheels have definitely come off Carolina’s rickety playoff bandwagon. Way to account for yourself, Washington! #Redskins #Panthers
— Tennessee kills one of its primary, habitual demons with an impressive road win at Indy; solid defense, efficient play at QB and a whole lot of iron horse Henry are definitely a formula for future success in January. As for the Colts, they’re continually getting kicked in the groin by a malfunctioning kicking game, and the expiring VIN number is none other than Hall of Famer Vinatieri. #Titan #Colts
— Athletic Bills show they can get things done on the road, and send a signal to the rest of the league that they should be taken seriously … with that defense and some decent to good weapons on offense, a new view of their qualifications certainly seems justified. As for the Cowboys, this team may well win the NFC Least and stagger into the playoffs, but seriously, who cares (other than living-on-life-support Jason Garrett). #Cowboys #Bills
— Saints don’t exactly dominate, but were never seriously threatened in a very anti-climatic edition of Thanksgiving Night Football. Let’s hope this is the last appearance this year for a Falcon team that has definitely lost its grip. #Saints #Falcons
— Bears were barely good enough for a Turkey-day roasting of the hapless Lions. Time for the NFL to reconsider thrusting the silver and blue in our faces to start out our Thanksgiving Thursdays. #Bears #Lions

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