Happy Birthday, Alvin Glymph!

Defy Life would like to send Happy Birthday wishes to our very own Alvin Glymph!

Ever want to know more about the life and times of Alvin Glymph? Of course, you do. Don’t we all? Well, you’re in luck folks! In honor of his birthday, Alvin Glymph agreed to give Defy Life the exclusive rundown of his personal history. I must say…I came away impressed. I came away entertained. But, most of all, I came away confused. Thanks, Alvin!

Sgt. Alvin Geronimo Tre’Davious Glymph, PHD, (11 May 1908 – present),

Known AKA’s include “Big Al”, “Frankie Shanks” and “Steve”, was one of the most popular Cambodian bullfighters of the Bolshevik revolution, as well as a widely-regarded Washington Redskins booster, LeBron James enthusiast and semi-professional rock climber.

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Alvin leading the cheers of his beloved Washington Redskins.

”’Early Years”’

Alvin Geronimo Tre’Davvious Glymph was born on 11 May 1908, on the Kanha Tiger Reserve, India, the second of twelve children to Roger Staubach Glymph (1879–1951), a world famous knife juggler, and his wife, LaQuindisha (1880–1943). When Alvin was seven, the family moved to Philadelphia, PA. In 1918, when he was ten, the family relocated to 1701 MLK Blvd, in downtown Buffalo, NY, where the family gained a reputation for feverishly cheering on the New England Patriots.

”’Education”’

While there is no educational documentation of Alvin past the third grade, Alvin is rumored to have graduated with honors from Colgate University. “Big Al” is also credited with possessing a vast and uncanny knowledge of professional wrestling history. Alvin credits a Polish ventriloquist named James “Whispers” Cantrell for everything he knows about Love N Hip-Hop.  “Whispers” later went on to lead the Canadian Army basketball team in scoring for six consecutive seasons.

Alvin is also an award winning singer/songwriter”:

”’Writing Credits”’

His song credits include:

1961 – I’m In Love With a Stripper. (later remade by T. Pain)

1979 – Joe Gibbs Funk (yearly re-mixes until 2001)

1979 – If Loving LeBron Is Wrong, I Don’t Wanna Be Right

1986 — Black Hockey Fan Jam (double platinum in Canada)

2017 — Bad and Boujee – feat MIGOS

”’Post Music Career”’ 

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Alvin hiking with a group of friends L-R (Al Yankovich, Alvin, Mary Todd Lincoln, Tom Brady, Buju Banton)

Alvin would later go on to work for Defy Life, the internet’s top Sports and Lifestyle website, run by perhaps the internet’s most handsome group of men.  During his time at Defy Life, Big Al had the opportunity to speak with various sport and fashion icons such as Riley Cooper, Sinbad and Geno Smith (whom Glymph considers “the prototype for the modern NFL quarterback).  Alvin and Cooper went on to form a life-long friendship that mainly consisted of Riley challenging Alvin to a series of racially-motivated water gun duels.

– “Frankie Shanks” is credited for the widespread use of the phrase “Ain’t nothing permanent”.

– During the winter of 1971 “Alvin” back-packed through Queens, NY with a group that included Buju Banton and Abraham Lincoln’s wife, Mary.

– Defeated James “Bonecrusher” Smith for the WBC Heavyweight boxing title in July of 1993 (would later lose the title after it was found that he boiled his ribs before he smokes them).

– Friends (and foes) refer to Al simply as “That’s him”.

– Claims to have been the original inventor of the PlayStation logo.

– Joined “The Band” on the infamous walk to Junior’s for cheesecake.

– Headlined the “Up In Smoke” tour with Snoop Dogg in 1996.

– Originally cast as Avon Barksdale on HBO’s “The Wire”, but turned down the role after finding out he’d made the Seattle Seahawks as the this-string long-snapper.

– He is a distant cousin (by marriage) to Chris Childs and Walter Mondale.

– Finished in 2nd place in the 1982 Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest

– Coined the phrase “Word”, when he was 11, during a dispute with a childhood friend (former professional wrestler Rick Flair)

– Firmly believes that the single greatest Hip-Hop album ever is Kris Kross’ “Da Bomb”

– Briefly engaged to Harriet Tubman.

– Tells anyone who will listen that “Dexter Manley is the epitome of human excellence”

– Put down his love for the New England Patriots after winning a Washington Redskins’ souvenir cup at the local Burger King.

 

 

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