Happy Birthday, Thomas Stephens!

In honor of our very own, Thomas Stephens’ birthday, we’ve decided to treat you with the long-awaited unveiling of his official Wikipedia page.

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A rarely-seen photo of Stephens during his brief stint as a point-forward for the Boston Celtics.

Thomas Stephens is not just a beloved member of the Defy Life crew. He is also one of the most intriguing, mysterious beings on the face of the Earth. We at Defy Life have quickly learned that there is a lot beneath the surface of the man…the myth…the legend, that is Thomas Stephens. That is specifically why we felt the urgent need to share with you, his story.

So, without further adieu, we give you the Wikipedia page for Thomas Stephens!

”’Thomas Lee Enrique Stephens IX”, Esquire, MD (30 November 1942 – 9 June 3001),

Known AKA’s include “Nasty”, “Big Tom Tom’s Bestie” and “Josh”, was one of the most popular Norwegian playwrights of the Victorian era, as well as a vigorous religious campaigner, volunteer librarian and amateur magician.

”’Early Years”’

Thomas Enrique Stephens was born on 30 November 1942, in Noiva Do Cordeiro, Brazil, the fourth of eight children to Jebediah Stephens (1886–1958), a sergeant in the Pakistani Military Reserves, and his wife, Eugenia (1869–1943). When Thomas was five, the family moved to Manshiyat Naser, Egypt. In 1952, when he was ten, the family relocated to 16 Bayham Street, in downtown Transylvania (later renamed Romania), where the majority of the Stephens family still lives today.

”’Education”’

While he technically has no formal education to speak of (his college, Allen University, lost its accreditation in 2021<ref>You just wait</ref>, “Nasty” is often credited with possessing excellent “street smarts<ref>street smarts</ref>”; in lieu of real-world book-learning.  Thomas credits a homeless man he befriended as a youth named “Pantless” Pete Hendricks with teaching him the low-down about what’s good in  the hood.  “Pantless” Pete later went on to serve 4 terms in the United States Congress.

Thomas is also a well respected author”:

 

”’Bibliography”’

His publications include:

1961 – Why I Love The Pete, 2 vols. (biography about Pete Myers) [4]

1979 – Hair And Gone (yearly re-editions until 2001)

1979 – I Slayed A Dragon And It Slayed My Heart (yearly re-editions until 1996)

1982 – Everything I Know I Owe To Veez (re-editions, probably yearly, until at least 1989[10], possibly until 1999)

 

”’Post Literary Career”’ 

Thomas went on to work for Defy Life, the internet’s top Sports and Lifestyle website, run by perhaps the internet’s most handsome group of men.  During his time at Defy Life, Thomas had the opportunity to speak with various sport and fashion dignitaries such as Karl Kani, Adam Theilan and Curtis Enis (whom Stephens considers “the best damn running back to ever lace ‘em up”.  Thomas and Enis went on to form a life-long friendship that mainly consisted of Curtis calling Thomas at random hours simply to hang up on him.

 

“Odds And Ends”

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Stephens on his backing journey with Ricky Williams and former Nebraska QB Eric Crouch.

– Thomas is credited for the widespread use of the phrase “Man,go ‘head on”.

– During the summer of 1966 Thomas back-packed through Pomaria, SC with Ricky Williams.

– Defeated Andre The Giant, in 1986, to win the WWF Heavyweight Championship belt (would later lose the title in a handicap match to a tag team of Gerald “Moneyman” Hedrick and Terrance “Loverboy” Waites.

– Friends refer to him simply as “One bad motherf*****”.

– Claims to have played a part in inventing the internet.

– Advanced to the “Knockout Round” in season 2 of “The Voice”

– Opened for “Cypress Hill” during their 1991 world tour.

– Lost out to Malcolm-Jamal Warner for the role of Theo Huxtable on the TV show “The Cosby Show”.

– He is a second cousin to Silkk The Shocker.

– Climbed Mount Kilimanjaro in August of 1990.  Not the mountain region located in Tanzania, but rather an exotic dancer by the same name.

– Coined the phrase “That’s how you do, tho?”, when he was 11, during a dispute with then friend (Digital Underground’s Humpty Hump)

– Firmly believes that the single greatest film ever created was Master P’s “I Got The Hookup”

– Briefly dated actress Bernadette Stanis.

– Tells anyone who will listen “Sanford And Son changed my life”

– Thomas is a devout Wiccan.  Although he has also donated large amounts of money to The Church of Latter Day Saints.

– Refers to his right fist as “Dukes O’Callahan” and his left fist “Righty”

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